Esther's name and birth story.

I had a feeling throughout most of this pregnancy that her name was supposed to be Esther. I would doubt and wonder, but every time I walked into Relief Society and saw the Minerva Teichert painting of Queen Esther, I felt peace that I knew our baby's name! I love the story of Queen Esther (not the Veggie Tales version though!). Stuart was worried that Esther was an "old woman" name, so when he suggested "Leilani" (Hawaiian for "Flowers from Heaven") I jumped on that. Leilani is Staci's middle name, so it's a family name. Also, Esther Taylor is Our Esther's Great-great-great grandmother. And she is the Mother of Charlotte Taylor Dearden, who is the mother of Stuart's Grandpa Dear. So we have many reasons for Choosing Esther. And it fits our little dark-haired baby.

Esther's birth was pretty low-key. Saturday August 20 (6 days "post date") I woke up at about 2:30 AM with some indigestion, and then about 3:30 am I had a real contraction. Contractions continued very sporadically all morning, probably every 10-90 minutes. So nothing consistent. I went for a long walk about 8:30 am, hoping to speed things along, but that didn't produce immediate results. Staci and Grannie D came to get the girls to take them to Evanston for a family reunion at about 10:30. I was hoping to be at the hospital, maybe even with a baby, by the time they got back. I tried to rest and that didn't work. I called my mom, but she didn't answer, so I called my sister Whitney (recently moved to Missouri) and we talked for an hour. She was a CNA at the mother/baby ward in Logan, and she reminded me that I should only go to the hospital if I was sure I was in active labor or if I wanted pitocin, which I knew they would give me since I was almost 41 weeks. Contractions weren't close enough yet, and I didn't want artificial cow hormones injected into my body again, so even though I was anxious to get Esther here, I was willing to wait!

I hung up the phone with Whitney at about noon, and tried to rest again. My mom called me back and we talked, and I decided to get up and clean my house. Stuart's brother was at our house, so I didn't have any help from Stuart yet, but contractions were totally manageable. At about 1:30 I told Stuart we'd need to leave soon, and finished the dishes and vacuuming.

We arrived at the hospital at about 2:30. Of course, once I got there my contractions stopped. They had been coming every 3-5 minutes for an hour, so I was hoping I was dilated. In hindsight, I probably would have stayed home for another hour or two.

The nurse I was assigned was very nice, but I could tell she had no idea how to help with a natural birth, and she didn't think my midwife would let me get away without an IV (I had already discussed it with Kaydon and knew I didn't need one.) She kind of tried to scare me by saying "Ok, but if something goes wrong we might not be able to get an IV in." I have spent 2+ years studying childbirth. She didn't scare me.

I did have to be monitored for 20 minutes, and the elastic band I had to wear to keep the monitors on was very tight and covered my entire abdomen. Very uncomfortable. I was not happy. The fact that I was so annoyed with my well-meaning nurse probably made my labor less pleasant. But, she checked me and I was dilated to 5 1/2. I was very happy. I labored, tried to relax, and tried to get over my irritation at the nurse's policies, and by 5 pm I was at a 7, and wanted to have my water broken. Kaydon did that, and I got in the tub. By that time I was starting to hurt. Bad. I didn't really consider an epidural, but just kept thinking "I can't do this, it hurts too bad!" I was trying to focus, breathe, relax, move, and cope, and apparently I fooled everyone into thinking I was doing great. Because they kept telling me I was doing such a good job. I tried to tell them that I wasn't. But they didn't believe me. Another nurse came in while Susan was on break and helped with some counter pressure to my back, but soon that wasn't even helpful. All I wanted to do was have Stuart to lean on and just get Esther OUT!

I must interject that my love for Stuart has increased tenfold in the last two weeks! What a guy!!

Anyway, so I was in transition, wanting to end everything, and my midwife checked and said I was almost there. She suggested trying to push a little to help finish dilating, but that was torture, and so I waited until I FELT like pushing.

When that feeling finally came, I got on the bed and leaned over the back on my knees. I didn't feel like pushing was getting me any closer to getting her here, so the midwife suggested I turn around so I could have more control over pushing. Pushing was painful too, but I just gave it my all and in a couple pushes she was out! Immediate relief! The nurses had to check the baby immediately to make sure she hadn't gotten meconium in her lungs, but she was fine and within 5 minutes I was holding her.

She was SO beautiful and I was so happy that my ordeal was over. I'd do it again in a heartbeat, but it was one of the two most painful experiences of my life (The other being, of course, Charlotte's birth.)

One thing I did differently after having Esther was to take Ibuprofen and Percocet right after having her. That helped my recovery SO much! With Charlotte I didn't want to take anything, and the afterpains while nursing were so painful.

This recovery has been so great! I had a few days of pain, and of course I'm tired from a baby that nurses every 2-4 hours around the clock, but I'm already feeling normal. As soon as I stop bleeding I plan on starting to run and work out again! Also, I haven't had fissures this time, which is a huge blessing because with my other two girls I had them for months, and that is more painful than childbirth, in my opinion!!

I do want to say a word about natural childbirth: It works for me. I like it better than having an epidural, partly because I like to feel in control, I don't like sitting there waiting. It hurt a lot, and I can definitely understand why most women don't choose a medication-free birth, but I also have to say that, at least for me, drug-free birth is not about trying to prove anything. And I don't really feel that the actual process makes me any more or less of a mother. It's just a means to an end. :) If you are even remotely interested in how to prepare for a drug-free birth, I'd love to chat about it! :) And if you are one who has had an epidural that didn't work to well, then you probably already know you can do it, which is the most important part!