A Resolve and a Birth Story

I have a friend who writes a blog post every week day of the year. I would like to try that this year. Sometimes I feel frustrated that I'm not keeping track of the children growing up, but I'm just going to start.

Seth Alan was born on November 28, the day after Thanksgiving! Here is his birthday story:

Seth's "due date" was December 3, however, 2 months before that I began hoping that he would come the day after Thanksgiving. It was several days before his due date, and I didn't think an "early" baby was possible since I've always gone past my due date. I hoped anyway. I imagined how convenient it would be to have Stuart home for the entire weekend, and he didn't have classes on Mondays last semester, so having the baby on Friday would mean four entire days of having him home! Also, I didn't want to have the baby on Thanksgiving day.

On Monday, November 24, I had a visit with my midwife. I was already dilated to 4 cm, which was shocking to me. Everything about this pregnancy was so different! I had moderate morning sickness (compared to light sickness with the girls), I gained more weight and LOOKED bigger, and I actually was dilated before my due date!

Thanksgiving day we hosted some friends, the Andersons, for dinner. They were about to move to Houston and since their house was all packed up and we didn't have any family to celebrate the holiday with us, we were glad to have friends over.

That night I had the distinct impression that I should go to bed really early and get as much sleep as possible. I didn't obey that prompting, and ended up going to bed around 11. I woke up at 12, probably to use the potty, then went back to bed. I got up around 1AM with a strong contraction. I puttered around the house for a bit, then laid down on the couch. From 2-3 AM I was having contractions every 5 minutes, and about half of them required focused breathing, the other half were quick and easy. I was lying down the entire hour, so I called the midwife on call, Lauren Drees, and she told me that it was up to me whether I came in or tried walking or a bath to see if the contractions went away. I was feeling discouraged because I was so worn out and wanted to get more sleep before giving birth.

About 4:30 AM I had Stuart get ready, just in case, but things had fizzled out. I was really hoping to wait until at least 8 am to go in because I didn't want to wake up my neighbor and friends who were helping with the girls. It was still the middle of the night! As a side note I should mention that I don't think I ever need worry about delivering a baby in a car. My body does not progress if there is any stress or worry, and I was worried about making sure I had someone to care for my girls!

8 AM came around and I'd had less than 5 contractions the previous 4 hours, I decided that since I had been 4 cm I should probably just go in. A new midwife, Theresa Blair, was on call at that point (She moved from Utah about the same time we did!) and she suggested I just come in and get things going. So I called Paula, my neighbor, to sit with the girls for a few hours, and arranged for Beth Erbe from the ward to take the girls to our friend Sarah Skoch's home at noon.

As soon as Paula arrived Stuart and I left to drive to Rogers to the Birth Center. I chose the Birth Center partly because it was cheaper than a hospital birth, but also because I prefer a non-medical approach to childbirth. I will write another post sometime about why I will probably go to a hospital if I ever have another baby.  I have so many new thoughts about childbirth!

The drive was about 30 minutes, and on the way I was worried that I wasn't really in labor.  However, when we were passing the freeway exit before the town of Rogers, Stuart told a joke while at the same time I experienced the mother of all contractions. It was not fun, and through the pain I had to tell him to stop making me laugh!

We got to the Birth Center around 9 AM and Teresa checked me and I was 6 cm. That felt like an accomplishment for me, so I figured I could labor for an hour, have my water broken and within 2 hours I would have a baby. That is not what happened.

After getting settled I just kind of labored in the birth suite for a while, maybe an hour or so. Then I decided I wanted to try the birth tub. It was a big tub. I had contemplated a water birth, but I should have known better. To keep the story shorter I can just say that being in the tub kept things from progressing. I even had Teresa break my water while in the tub, around 11 AM. Then I stayed in there for at least another hour. Things were not moving very quickly, but I do remember that Baby got hiccups while I was in the tub. For some reason that was funny to me.

Sometime between noon and 1 PM I decided to get out of the tub. I was nearing transition, and I was so exhausted by that point. The midwife and the RN were great and very supportive. Baby Seth was slightly posterior and contractions were extremely painful. I was having back labor and I just couldn't bear to go on any longer. It seemed like having this baby was taking way too long and I just wanted Theresa to tell me that I was almost ready to push. I didn't feel like pushing yet, but I tried some positioning to get Baby to turn and every movement during a contraction was agony. The contractions were coming so fast. He still needed to descend past my pubic bone, and I remember from birthing Esther that being such a difficult part of labor for me.

I tried two different birthing stools. I tried my hands and knees, which I have always hated and didn't work this time either. I finally tried being on the bed with Stuart behind me, but that didn't work since the bed was not a hospital bed that changed positions. I have always preferred the "circle C" position for giving birth, as that always gives me the most control, but the closest I could get was the taller birth stool. I didn't love it, but I could hold on and bear down.

By the time I felt like pushing, it was close to 1 PM. I don't know any of the exact times because I was just in a state that felt like torture. You're probably thinking "why didn't she just go to the hospital and get an epidural?" I wonder the same thing. But I don't think I would change anything. I'll write more about that later.

I pushed and pushed. A high pitched wail issued from my mouth, but Theresa told me to groan low, and that really helped bring him down. He still wasn't in an awesome position. It was over an hour of pushing my guts out. Literally. Finally he was crowning, and Theresa told me to give short grunts to help me stretch so I wouldn't tear. His head was born, and his hand was by his face. Then his shoulders were born and I reached down and brought him up to my chest. That was a moment of complete jubilation. The suffering of the previous moment was nothing compared to the joy of holding my little son, watching him turn pink, and hearing his first cry. It was LOVE at first sight!! That is why I try to avoid medical intervention with childbirth. I did not get that first moment with Alana because of the pitocin and the epidural and everything. Yes, I survived. She and I bonded. But that first skin to skin with my babies after pushing them out is priceless! Seth was born at 2:33 PM. That was 5 1/2 hours after we got to the Birth Center.

Stuart was there the whole time, cheering me on, helping me move, providing a rock for me to lean on. He was behind me on a regular stool while I was pushing, letting me lean on him and giving me drinks of water. I love that man.

After pushing Seth out, I moved over to the bed and lie down, and started shaking. That part is the worst! It was like my body was in shock. I held my baby while Theresa waited for the placenta. After I delivered that and the cord stopped pulsing I got to help cut the cord. That was cool. I'd never done that before!

There I was, lying on the bed, shaking, and holding my baby. I was in a lot of pain, but it was masked by the joy of having Baby Seth in my arms. After an hour or so we decided I needed to try and empty my bladder to help my uterus shrink. I was SO swollen "down there" that I didn't think I could. As the RN helped me to the bathroom, I felt weird. For some reason a thought came that I would pass out, so I told the nurse and she helped me sit down, and then suddenly I woke up completely disoriented. I saw the blood on the ground and thought "that looks like someone just had a baby." Then it came back to me that I was the one who just had a baby.

That was the first time I've ever passed out. It scared me a lot. I was worried I would have to go to the hospital. But I was running on very little sleep and had just gone through quite a difficult childbirth process. The midwife had already left, so the nurse called her. She wasn't worried, but just told me to lie down and drink lots of water and eat.

Stuart went to Five Guys and got hamburgers. I ate about half of mine, but the baby kept wanting to nurse and I wanted to feed him as much as he wanted. Nursing was, of course, painful because it made my uterus contract more. I took ibuprofen and soon that kicked in.

I laid in the bed and snoozed on and off. Part of the benefit of the Birth Center is that you don't stay long. You go home to your own bed after 4 hours. I had just settled down for a good nap when it was time to go. That right there convinced me that a hospital birth might be better if I have another baby. I really needed a good 4 hour nap before going home!

Seth weighed in at 8 pounds and was 20.5 inches long. The next day he weighed 7 lbs 8 oz. When he was 4 days old he was back up to 7 lbs 14 oz.

The first 4 days after his birth I felt pretty awful. But by the 5th day I was much better and could do a few things here and there.

Looking back at Seth's birth, I can say that my memory is already growing dim. Was I really in that much pain? I can totally do that again if I need to. Maybe. One thought that has persisted is that the Lord needed me to learn something. I definitely felt a kinship with all the women who have come before me. I also felt very close to my Savior. I have heard women say that they felt angels bear them up during the difficulties of childbirth. I did not have that specific experience. But I felt a TINY piece of what the Savior's agony in Gethsemane must have been. And I did it in order to bring a new life into this world. Also, I had a thought that the Lord couldn't make things too easy for me. He answered my specific prayers about the day of my baby's birth, so He needed me to stretch and grow in other ways, and rely on Him to get me through the pain.

I'm so grateful for this precious baby Seth. He has a tongue and lip tie and is pretty fussy. I haven't sleep more than 3 hours at a time for a long time, and he is up a lot at night. But I'm so grateful to be his momma!

Seth at 4 weeks old.