Stuart's version of events may be a bit different from mine, and of course the past is colored with the present. I may have looked at things differently if I hadn't ended up marrying Stuart, but this is our story.
My first recollection of Stuart was in orchestra class my sophomore year of high school. He was a lurpy, girl-crazy kid, and I remember talking to him with two of my violinist friends, Julie and Michelle, about some girl he liked. Was it Chari? No, Melissa Jacobsen! He really had a crush on her! He was pretty flirtatious, but nothing really stood out about him. I knew that he played the violin (I played viola) and he had a reputation for being slightly, shall we say, tone deaf. Poor kid.
The year passed and we didn't strike up a friendship or anything. However, the following summer, one of my best friends went to a party with him and they ended up going on a date. She liked him, he liked her, and my Junior year had just started. Stuart was a senior. We ended up taking AP Music Theory together, and he would talk to me about my friend and wanted to get to know me because he liked her. He wanted to ask her to Homecoming, but before he could get up the courage, she was asked by another kid (who she ended up dating for a few months.) Meanwhile, Stuart lamented to me about it, and I basically told him "stop whining and ask somebody else. Like me." I wasn't particularly interested in him, but I mistakenly equated a girl's worth with how many dates she went on, and of course I didn't want to miss the dance.
Within a few days Stuart dropped some cutesy thing (I think it was flour or something) off at my house to ask me to the dance, and talked with my older brother. I think he also overheard my dad yelling at my younger brothers, which intimidated him. Little did he know...
Long story short, we went to Homecoming. We had a day activity, which included lunch and attending the Natural History Museum at the U. I thought he was funny and nice, but not that cute. Sorry, I have to tell it like it was. I've repented, don't worry. And you have to understand that he was 5'11", 120 lbs. Bean pole!
We went to dinner that night and I remember I ordered chicken-fried steak. On our way from the restaurant to the high school, where the dance was held, Stuart announced that he needed to use the bathroom. I thought that was funny because he had gone right before we left the restaurant, and it was only a 15 minute drive to the dance. I jokingly said "if you pee your pants, I won't ever talk to you again." A panicked look came over his face and he insisted that his friend Brian pull over at the nearest gas station. Brian, Cheryl, and I sat in the car laughing while Stuart went inside and did his business. Then we went to the dance.
At the dance I remember I wanted to try and take pictures that were slightly different than the normal pictures people took. But they ended up being pretty unoriginal. I don't remember much else about the dance itself.
A week or two later he asked me to go swing dancing with a bunch of people at the Murray Arts Center. I thought it was more of a group hang out, but I found out it was an actual date. It was fun, but he was a terrible dancer. Can you see where this is going? Young girl has all these romantic notions about the guy of her dreams. Strong, handsome, and a good dancer are on the list.
We continued going on dates every month or so. I would go on a date with someone in between every date (I usually had to ask the guy). I remember playing in the snow in the winter, several Utah Symphony Concerts. We both played in Granite Youth Orchestra, and we hung out sometimes in between concerts.
In December 2000 we attended Winter Ball, which was a semi-formal dance at our school, but not with each other. Remember the friend he initially liked? She had broken up with her boyfriend and asked Stuart. I asked my friend Jeremy. We went in the same group, and ended up dancing one dance together. My friend had wanted to dance with our other friend's date, so we did a little switch-a-roo.
In February (the 17th, which is a significant date, because that is our first daughter's birthday) we went to Junior Prom. I remember playing games with a big group of people at a local church cultural hall. We had dinner at an Italian Restaurant near the E-center.
Stuart and I went out to eat more than I ever had in my life, but the funny thing was that he rarely ate half his food, if that. I could see why he was so skinny. But he was too busy talking to eat!
Anyway, Prom was fun. My brother, who had graduated and recently received his mission call, had been asked to the dance by Becca Gibson, and he asked me to dance. Half-way through dancing with Danny, I wanted to dance with Stuart again. I guess that was some indication that I liked him, but I wasn't counting my chickens. And under no circumstances was I going to ever have a serious boyfriend in high school. I wasn't willing to compromise anything in my future (college, mission, temple marriage) for any hormone-driven episodes.
Sometime around March 2001 I was starting to get kind of tired of Stuart. I wasn't sure exactly what his feelings for me were, but sometimes he bugged me, and I didn't want any other guys who might have asked me out to avoid it because they thought I was with Stuart. I was a little obsessed with having lots of dates, but again, I didn't want to get serious with anyone. Duh! I was 17!
Sometime around then Stuart asked me to attend the Utah Symphony and I was just annoyed with him and needed a break from him. Unfortunately I wasn't too nice to him. He kind of backed off for a while. One day after Orchestra we were talking and he said "do you want to go to Harry Hawkins?" (A casual school dance). For some reason I thought he was asking if I wanted to go in general, not that he was specifically asking me. I said "no, not really."
The next week he was talking to me about asking this other girl to the dance, and of course I was affronted! Somehow we figured out that we wanted to go together. And we did, except I had strep. My mom teased us when we left "no kissing, you don't want to get him sick." I was shocked because the thought of kissing him had never even crossed my mind, and of course I wasn't going to kiss anyone until it was the guy I was going to marry. (Just FYI, that didn't happen, but I did make it to age 19!)
April brought Orchestra/Choir tour to Disneyland. I didn't even think I would hang out with Stuart, but he ended up coming with me, Carin, Michelle, and Megan on many of the rides. And we held hands...for the first time. My friends were pretty annoyed with us, but I think that was the first time I let myself be attracted to him. We had a lot of fun and got to know each other better. And he always made me laugh.
Just a note about Stuart: he is intelligent. No, I mean really really smart. In high school, he took AP Calculus, Physics, English, and History. I didn't appreciate his brains until after we were married, but maybe it helps you to picture him better in high school. He was completely unassuming, funny, and chatty. Those of you who know him now are probably not surprised, but he keeps our home teachers at our house far longer than I'm sure they appreciate. But I always enjoy talking to him, and I always have. That was important later when I had my first serious boyfriend in college, because I compared him to Stuart without ever realizing that Stuart had set the bar high.
Enough side notes. After Tour I was still wishy-washy about Stuart. He was great, and I didn't want to lead him on. But sometimes I just needed a break from him. It wasn't like I wanted to be with him 24/7. We hung out a lot at the end of the year, but I was sort of half-hearted. In May I asked him to Senior Ball, a formal girl's-choice dance that was held at the U of U football stadium. It was really fun. During the day we had a video scavenger hunt, and that was so fun. When I dropped him off to get ready for dinner and the dance he asked "Can I hold your hand tonight?" Well, how is a girl supposed to say no to that?!
I picked him up, we went to dinner, and I tried asparagus for the first time. I didn't like it. We went to the dance and had SO MUCH FUN! Carin was worried that I was going to let him kiss me that night. I'm not going to lie, that definitely influenced my decision later when we hugged goodnight and he asked if he could kiss me. I buried my head in his shoulder and said "NO!" He loved telling that story on his mission!
The last week of school we hung out, held hands a few times. We even snuggled during a movie at Julie's house (much to the chagrin of my friends!) On his graduation day we spent the entire day together and just enjoyed being together. I went to his seminary graduation and gave him a copy of "Jesus the Christ" by James E. Talmage.
During the summer of 2001 we were both busy, but we spent a little time together. By the beginning of my senior year I was ready to move on. He was getting ready for his mission (He was a grade older than me) and I didn't want to distract him. And I just wanted to have fun, not be tied down to one guy! I had my whole life ahead of me!
In November we went on a date and I ended up telling him that I didn't want to date just him. Somehow, it came across as "I never want to see you again." I found out later that I had broken his heart. But, at least he was able to prepare for his mission without me to distract him.
We didn't see each other for several months. I had crushes on guys here and there, but didn't really date much. In fact, my friends and I boycotted some of the girl's choice dances that year.
Spring 2002 came and I was getting ready to graduate. Stuart had received his mission call to Paris France, due to leave 2 days before I graduated. Stuart's little brother Sam was 2 years younger than me in school. He had been in my seminary class, and we ran Cross Country together. One day in April I drove past him walking home from school and offered him a ride. Stuart was home, and came out to say hi. We ended up going to Subway and talking. That led to hanging out a bit. I enjoyed being around him.
My entire family attended Stuart's mission farewell talk in church. I hung out at his house afterward. The day before he went into the MTC we planned to go to the SL temple to do baptisms for the Dead, and I had a job interview downtown. Unfortunately, I left my temple recommend at home. Actually, I had known my wallet was in my parent's car, and I thought my dad had driven to work (at the Church Office Building) that day, so I planned to just grab it out of the car. But when we got there, we found out that he had left the car at home, so we had to go all the way back. Stuart said "we're never going to make it to the temple together." I remember I wanted to hold his hand while we were walking, but there was no way I was going to do that the day before he went into the MTC. We ended up only being able to do confirmations, which Stuart got to perform. Then I had my job interview.
Stuart dropped me off at home that afternoon and I really wanted to hug him, but was too scared. So we didn't hug. I think his mom was mad at him for spending his last day home with me. If only she knew the future!
I distinctly remember saying to my mom the day that Stuart went into the MTC "I think I might marry him." But I brushed that off. I was only a few months away from moving to Provo to attend BYU, and I was SO excited to finally be starting "real life." (I know, my perspective was a little messed up, but the title of this story is not "How Crystal Grew Up and learned to appreciate the Journey."
Continued in Part II: College and Mission.
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