Tender Mercies

In my efforts to not brag about my child and husband, and therefore annoy any readers or paint a picture that my life is always perfect, I may have erred on the side of complaining too much about the silly/difficult/challenging things that happen to me as a wife, mother, and daughter of God.

I need to mention that I believe I have a fabulous eternal companion, who I love dearly and who is exactly the right person for me to be with. We laugh, have fun, occassionally get annoyed, and generally enjoy each other's company.

My daughter is a constant source of joy. I am amazed several times a day by the things she learns, her smiles and giggles, her sense of wonder over EVERYTHING she sees, and her sweet little personality. She is a jewel. Sometimes I say to Stuart "can you believe we made her, and she's growing, and learning, and someday will be an adult and raise her own kids!" Stuart gives me a funny look for stating something SO obvious, but WOW! God lets us create families and help others to become heirs of His Kingdom. Amazing! (and I have to note that families are created in different ways, and all of us have basically unlimited potential to help save Mankind!)

Tonight as I was rocking Alana to sleep, I started to think about the Lord's tender mercies in my life as a mother. I wanted to share a few. Some are kind of silly, but I know that since the Lord asks us not to perform any task except we pray unto Him, He doesn't take any of these things lightly.

1. In my first trimester with this second pregnancy, Alana fell asleep while we were on a long walk. I was exhausted, grateful she was asleep so I could rest. Then when I took her out of the stroller, I discovered she had a messy diaper and I just couldn't let her stay asleep in that (she is prone to diaper rash!). I said a prayer that she would stay asleep while I changed her diaper (as I said, I was worn out and just needed a little time). Apparently she was worn out too, because she didn't stir during the diaper change (which is utterly shocking, she wakes up if we flush the toilet!). Great testimony to me that God cares about the little things.

2. Tonight I was singing to Alana, as I do every night and at naptime. She was very calm and relaxed, and then her little sister started wiggling. I just thought, both my girls love music, and they know my voice. I don't know why it was so touching, but just knowing they were both right there next to each other was special. I can't wait to meet "Little Sister" (Her designated name until she arrives).

3. One of the biggest mercies has been that I have been able to stay at home with Alana. This has been made possible through many different ways, and although we have a little more student debt than we would have liked, I sometimes wonder what Alana would be like if some one else had been raising her this last year while I worked. I am grateful to family and friends who have been willing to help out here and there, but overall, I feel lucky. I definitely know working is hard, and often necessary. I don't think Alana would be harmed in any way if I had to work, I just think it would be different. Like I said, Tender Mercy for me!

4. Random snuggles are on my list. I mean from Alana. She's never been a super cuddly baby, but lately, she'll just cuddle up and stroke mine ( or Stuart's) shoulder and say "ohhhh." It's so sweet, and we know she loves us and acknowledges that we love her.

5. I haven't yelled at Alana and don't really get mad at her. I know she's only 15 months, but this is a HUGE deal for me. I'm kind of impatient, easily annoyed. I don't try to be, it's just hard. But for some reason when she does things, like squirms away and screams during a diaper change, pees on the floor, or cries for hours on end, I am able to keep calm, (sometimes after removing myself to pray or just count to 10). This is a big miracle for me. Somehow Heavenly Father helps me keep cool with my child. (now if I could keep my cool with His other children...W.I.P.!)

6. One terrible month of teething is usually followed by 1 or more months of having a happy, joyful child. I sometimes wonder if it would be better to get it all over with at once, but that might take so long that I would forget how dear my little one is, and then I wouldn't be able to claim #5 anymore.

7. The following song is a tender mercy:

Do you know who you are, little child of mine, So precious and dear to me?
Do you know you’re a part of a great design That is vast as eternity?
Can you think for a moment how much depends On your holding the “Iron Rod”?
Your life is forever—worlds without end— Do you know you’re a child of God?

Do you know where you’ve been, little child of mine? It is hard to recall, I know;
Do you ever remember that Home Divine— With the [Parents who loved] you so?
Do you sometimes review how he took your hand and placed it within my own?
Saying 'here is a child from an angel land, not a gift but a precious loan?

Do you know where you're going, child of mine? Are your eyes on the road ahead?
Do the spires of His castle gleam and shine, where the sun glows golden red?
Are you taking enough for your journey child? Does your lamp cast a steady glow?
Will you hold your course when the storm is wild? You will make it, my child, I know.
(“To a Child,” by Ora Pate Stewart, [Provo, UT: Fernwood, 1964])

It helps me to think that Alana isn't really a gift for me. She is on loan. She isn't MINE really, she is HIS. And knowing that, I can face anything because I know that Heavenly Father is just as interested in her spiritual safety and peace as Stuart & I are. That gives me peace.

To sum it up, I will use the hurricane metaphor. You know, how the eye of the hurricane is completely peaceful, even with everything swirling around it. I can't say I'm in the eye 100% of the time, but I know that despite all the challenges that come from life on this earth, and from raising God's precious children, I can succeed in furthering His work through the Prince of Peace. That is a tender mercy.