Birth Story

*This story is not edited for content.*

Dear Baby Girl,
I wanted to tell you the story of how you were born and came to our family. I remember that at the time it was difficult for me to be patient, and right before your birth I remember thinking it was too hard and I couldn’t do it, but even a few days later all I can remember is how great the experience was and how wonderful you are!

I began early labor 3:00 pm ish on the 15th, having contractions on and off. I tried to stay busy by cleaning the kitchen, playing with your sister, and finishing up last minute things on my to-do list. The contractions were about 7-15 minutes apart, lasting about 30-45 seconds, but sometimes there was more time in between each one.

At 7 pm we took Sister to Aunt Julie’s house. She was sad at first, but when Julie took her outside to play with some kids, she didn’t even notice. Daddy & I got home again and walked up to BYU and back, hoping that would speed things up. But when we got home at 9 pm the contractions stopped, so I tried resting. I was relaxing, but couldn't sleep. Grandma E called to see how things were going, and I was trying to be positive, but I think she could tell I was bummed that things weren’t moving along. I wanted you HERE! Contractions started again a while later, I kept just trying to rest and relax, took a bath, but figured you would come that night or the next morning.

I did different things, like using the pilates ball, which was actually more painful, getting in the tub, swaying, but the most helpful was to squat. That eased some of the pain. The contractions still weren’t too regular, maybe 4-7 minutes apart, less than a minute each. At 2 I started having contractions that were stronger. With each one I thought “after this we are going to the hospital, this hurts!” But then it would end and I would remind myself that I didn’t want to get there too early. I didn’t want them to send me home and I didn’t feel like I was progressing too much.

We finally went to the hospital at 3:30. The first 15 minutes of the drive I had 0 contractions. I was getting discouraged. But then my midwife left a message telling me she was there and I could just come over. After that I had several tough contractions the rest of the drive. I think knowing she was there helped encourage my body to do what it was supposed to do.

When we got there I was 4.5 cm dilated and 100% effaced. I liked that the nurses asked me if I was planning unmedicated, that made me feel like they knew how to help me with that, and they were really nice. (They didn’t just assume I wanted an epidural). I got my IV antibiotic for group b strep, a 20 minute strip to monitor your heart-rate & contractions, then after that I was able to have a heplock, walk around, relax, etc. At 5:30 am I was 6 cm. At 7 am I was still 6 cm, so the midwife and I discussed the option of breaking my water and I decided since it had been so long since I had any sleep I wanted to try and speed things along. I was still coping really well, but contractions weren't getting any closer. (3-5 min apart about). After my water broke we just monitored your heart-rate for a few minutes (normally it was just every 30 min.) I could tell they were coming faster and stronger, so the midwife got me a birth ball and reminded Daddy how to apply counterpressure. That helped, but it was getting hard!

A little while later (maybe an hour? I lost track of time!) I felt like it was just one HUGE contraction that never really subsided. I had a big bowel movement, which I think was my body’s way of cleaning things out so you could be born. I knew I was in transition. I was exhausted! (24 hours of no sleep at that point!) Daddy was great helping me relax and staying by my side, slow dancing, whatever I told him to do, even though he was also SO tired! It was maybe a little after 8 when the midwife checked me I was at 9.5 cm. That HURT! I thought at that point that I was done and I couldn’t do it anymore. I didn't feel like pushing yet, but she helped me get into positions to help open up the rest of the way. I got on my hands and knees and started pushing. That hurt SO bad. The student midwife, Erica was ready to catch you and the CNM, Kathryn Hardy, helped coach me through pushing and get me in the best position. I pushed, but I was scared to push too hard because I felt like I was going to be torn up. I pushed on my hands and knees until most of your head was out, then switched to my side. Once your head was out I changed to my back to birth your shoulders.

During pushing Daddy thought I was going through extreme torture. I guess I was screaming and groaning. He said I sounded like Han Solo in Star Wars when he is being tortured by Darth Vader. He even worried that I was scaring other laboring women with my noises, but the midwives assured him that no one else could hear me. It hurt and I felt like I was being ripped open. I realized later I wasn't thinking about relaxing AT ALL! The midwives kept saying "you're almost there" and I said "you keep saying that but I'm not!" I wanted you OUT! If I had relaxed more at that point it might have helped! But I was just thinking "this HURTS! I can't do this!" Pushing was not really a relief for me. But once your head came out, I gave a couple pushes to get your shoulders out, and THAT was a relief! I got to hold you skin to skin right away and it was AMAZING! You were our new baby in my arms and we loved you immediately!

You were born at 9:09 on 9/16/2009, our perfect little darling. We had anticipated your arrival and feel like you have always been in our family. Your sister loves you so much, and so do Mommy and Daddy.

Love, Mommy